Guess what, freshman conservative college student? In a couple of weeks you’re going to have your liberal campus and its professors shove more junk down your throat than Rosie does her gullet during Chili’s Monday Night Nacho Monster Blowout Special, that’s what. Are you ready? Now, I’m not trying to make you fearful, sweetie. I just want you to brace for the liberal Kool-Aid crunch that is coming soon to a classroom near you. The stuff mommy warned you about is true. The reality is you are entering the Liberal’s madrasah. Your values, for the next four years, will be violated much like Linsday Lohan’s nose, liver, Mercedes and panties have been for the last five years. Given this milieu, you’ve got essentially three options to choose from when you’re confronted with the liberal hooey.For those new students who wish to make a dent on their campus, not only for their sake but for the following generations,I have

10 things you must get if you want to absolutely screw with the asinine screwballs at your University. To be an effective agent of change you’ve got to do the following:

1. Get a sense of humor.

Conservatives Need Their Campus Rebels

Things in Hollywood have changed drastically since my parents’ day. Nowadays we have bizarre incidents involving pampered, out-of-control blondes routinely exposing their private parts, commuting back and forth from rehab center to rehab center or the L.A. Slammer, all while the media celebrates their antics. Back when my mom and dad were acting, we also had blondes such as Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe, and even though they were hardly role models for decent behavior, they managed to show restraint, even when cavorting with a president of the United States, as in Monroe’s case. The Hollywood Culture Takes Over