If you’re a twisted adult who gets pleasure from having sex with 5-year-old boys (like Duke University’s Frank Lombard), or you like to shop for dates at the Metro Zoo, or enjoy smearing your body with feces and/or dabbin’ a little urine on your earlobes as you prep for sexy time with the corpse you dressed up like Bette Davis in your basement, then more than likely you are thanking Dionysus and your unclean demon that Liberals are running DC.

Yep, with the Liberals in the house your deviant behavior—along with over 500 additional unmentionables—could potentially be legitimized and federally protected against anyone who says you’re a crazy bastard who should undergo chemical castration and have your frontal lobe scraped for your aberrant bents.

In the Ted Kennedy spawned wording of S.909, The Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act, it appears that the public verbalization that one thinks an individual is a bubble off level if engaging in the anomalous and illegal aspects of the bumping of uglies could, in the not too distant future, get the verbalizer in a legal pickle of mammoth portions.

If S.909 gets through, the goobers who like to do odd and often criminal stuff with the gibbering monkey in their pants will be insulated from legitimate insults and criticisms, no matter how true the critique because that’s “hate,” which could, as we’re being told, lead to a crime.

As stated, this bill does not just protect Brad and Chad from the supposed “hate speech” of a Rev. John MacArthur, Jr. exposition of Romans 1:18-32. Oh, no. It also pretty much defends all “sexual orientation(s),” “gender,” and “gender identity” flakiness as federally-protected classes—up to 547 types of sexually-twisted behaviors, in all—including: • Incest – sex with one’s offspring (a crime, of course)

• Necrophilia – sexual relations with a corpse, also a crime

• Pedophilia – sex with an underage child, another crime

• Zoophilia – bestiality, a crime in numerous states

• Voyeurism – a criminal offense in most states

Frotteurism – rubbing against an unknown person’s body in public

• Coprophilia – sexual arousal from feces

• Urophilia – sexual arousal from urine

Yes, in the politically correct climate of Obamaland, they don’t want us to—cough—“freak” when Chester passes by sportin’ a pink tutu, unlaced black hiking boots, milk jugs duct-taped to his head, and his left hand spot-welded to his crotch, Wacko Jacko style. I’m sorry. I meant Saint Michael Jackson style.

If S.909 gets the green light, any public denunciation of a perv boy’s penchants, particularly if it stems from Christians quoting God on the topic, will be verboten verbiage if said legislation blows through with senatorial support.

This means that just as the governments of Norway, Sweden and Canada have criminalized certain parts of the Bible, the Amerikan Liberals too want to duct tape the few American pastors who read particular parts of the Verbum Dei which state that checking Jedediah’s oil is a sin, and so is having sex with children and goats. Because, you see, a caring pastor’s denunciation of such sexually-warped actions could be linked to some loser’s criminal misbehavior against those that practice such things and could make the goodly parson, because he called a spade a spade, complicit in the hate crime. What nonsense. Doug Giles reporting.

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